From what we cannot hold the stars are made.

[makemeasong]

Comments

[twelfthsong]

[He gathers her hands in his again, squeezing them tight. A part of him wants to kiss her hands in return but he holds himself back from doing so settling for this for now.]

And I'm lucky for it. [He smiles a closed lip smile before scoffing, still holding to her hands.] And here I was supposed to be comforting you. How do you do that?

[makemeasong]

You did comfort me. Don't lie and say you didn't need to be comforted too.

[ Her hands squeeze his in return. ]

We need one another, Doctor. So until you make me go, you're stuck with me doing annoying things like knowing what you need before you do.

[twelfthsong]

Well, then I guess I'm stuck, aren't I?

[He says it teasingly. Adoringly even.]

I really should think about paying you more. Hazard pay.

[makemeasong]

What pay? I'm supposed to be getting paid?

[ She smiles just a little though, reaching out to press her hand to the side of her face. ]

This is payment enough. If you really do a bang up job with your duty of care, you'll never have to worry about my asking for this again.

[ Her feelings are still a little hurt over his earlier hesitation, even if she tries to say it with levity in her voice. ]

[twelfthsong]

Ooh, I should add backpay to my list of things to do, shouldn't I?

[The Doctor's tone is also light and joking, but it doesn't quite meet his eyes.

His hand goes to cover hers and he knows what she's referring to even without her saying it or him reading her mind. He hates that he hesitated when she asked. It had been selfish and it was the least he could have done for her who had done so much for him, and had just gone through something she never should have. A wry smile comes to his face.]

Always room for improvement, right? I accept most feedback.

[makemeasong]

[ Pausing, Clara hesitates and glances down, but then she looks back up at him and her voice is soft, clutching his hand tightly. ]

I missed this. I've missed you.

[twelfthsong]

I missed you too.

[And he means it. As angry as he should be with Missy, she at least brought about this realization about. The walls he had put up between himself and Clara didn't need to be there even if he had thought he had done it with best intention.]

And I swear this won't ever happen again, Clara. Not ever.

[makemeasong]

[ She knows he'll do anything to keep her safe, to put himself between her and danger. She also knows he can't always protect her, but he'll try. He'll always try.

The thumb of one hand smooths over his forehead lightly. ]

I know. Honestly, track record's not bad.

[ Clara knows eventually they should both shake it off, go somewhere new and do what they always do. But if she moves, she's afraid it'll be the last time she's ever this close to him. So she doesn't move, deciding she'll stay curled against him as long as he's willing to stay. ]

[twelfthsong]

[A part of him wants to move away now that Clara seems relatively okay, but at the same time he doesn't want to see the hurt reach across her face again as he does.

So he stays. For the first time in a long time he stays. He allows him to wrap his arm around her as she curls into him and he lets out a small sigh.]

It's not a track record I'm fond of.

[makemeasong]

I feel safer with you than anyone else in the universe, Doctor.

And she can still say that, even after the Dalek.

Can I ask you something? About all your Time Lord abilities. [ Just so he knows it's a topic that won't hurt. At least as far as she knows. ]

[twelfthsong]

[The grip around her body tightens if only momentarily when she says that. It's his way of saying that he thinks the same thing too.]

Go on then.

[makemeasong]

How does it work, if you want to read someone's thoughts? Do you have to ask permission first?

[ She's genuinely curious after the way he helped her sleep, something she's never experienced before. And she wonders if something can't be explained in words, he could understand directly from the source. ]

[twelfthsong]

I could read them any time if I have some kind of contact with them. Most people don't ask permission before doing it.

[He pauses.]

I haven't ever done it to you. If you're wondering.

[makemeasong]

That's not why I asked. The way you helped me sleep, it was like...everything upsetting was replaced with warmth. The way it feels when you do this, only inside my head.

[ Clara's fingers lightly trace the circle of a button on his shirt, fidgeting. ]

[twelfthsong]

[Her fidgeting doesn't go unnoticed but he doesn't stop her. Just continues to hold her there.]

Yes well, that's a little different than reading minds. That was me trying to calm you. You could call it some form of hypnosis or a transference of happier thoughts. [He frowns.] Or maybe a mutual meditation might be a better word for it.

[makemeasong]

Mutual meditation. [ She hums a little. And then she chickens out, because no. She needs to figure out a way to say the words and if she can't say them yet, she isn't ready. ]

Is there a way you can take away dreams? I can't...I don't think I can sleep again if there's a chance of that nightmare again.

[twelfthsong]

[He can't help but grimace a little bit.] That was a horrible name for it, don't call it that. It sounds new age.

[He glances towards her.] If that's what you want. [He turns towards her properly, putting his hands on either side of her temple, bringing their foreheads back to touch.] Are you sure that's what you want, Clara?

[makemeasong]

[ There's a thin smile at his decision the name was rubbish. Once their foreheads are touching, she inhales slowly, secretly breathing him in before nodding. She knows once she's asleep and he knows she won't wake up screaming again, he'll have the chance to leave her sleeping. Then she'll wake and dress and they'll go on another adventure like nothing happened. ]

It's what I want, Doctor. Please.

[twelfthsong]

Very well then.

[And with her permission, he slowly begins to sift through her mind. He does his best not to peer too long at things that aren't what he's been told to look at but it's hard not to catch glimpses of himself every now and then. Soon enough though he finds the nightmare and he carefully quietens it, taking it from her and bottling it up.

It's strange seeing it from this perspective. Her perspective. All he can remember from that day is seeing the Dalek but hearing her voice - Oswin's voice - crying out in pain and fear. It stops when he places a stopper on it. When he lets out a breath, a small exhale of vibrant, golden light, exhales from his mouth as he slowly steadies her to lay her back onto the bed. Absentmindedly he strokes her hair as he gazes down at her with concern in his gaze.]

Better?

[makemeasong]

[ Clara's fingers reach up to pass through the light before it fades. She's looking up at him leaning over her and feels her heart give a solid thud. Swallowing she nods, then takes one of his hands, bringing it back to her temple. ]

Are you still here?

[twelfthsong]

I'm still here. [He gives her a flitting smile.] I'm not going anywhere, Clara. You should be able to sleep now.

[makemeasong]

[ She lets him misunderstand, using it to snuff out her courage and close her eyes. ]

Thank you, Doctor. For taking it away. I'll be alright after some good sleep. Which I'll get because of you.

[twelfthsong]

[He hesitates for a moment, not yet wanting to leave but not wanting to hover. A part of him worries - not dissimilar to her - that if he leaves that she won't be there if he leaves. He knows it's not logical but the very thought helps him make his decision.

He turns on his heel, dragging a chair to the bedside and a book.]

I'll stay here until you fall asleep.

[makemeasong]

[ Curling on her side, Clara smiles just a little, tugging the blanket around her and noting the book. ]

Too much to ask you to read out loud?

[twelfthsong]

[The Doctor looks surprised for a minute and looks down at the book, flustered in his own way.]

I might have picked the wrong book to read out to you. Unless you really want to hear me read about quantum time physics.