How does it work, if you want to read someone's thoughts? Do you have to ask permission first?
[ She's genuinely curious after the way he helped her sleep, something she's never experienced before. And she wonders if something can't be explained in words, he could understand directly from the source. ]
That's not why I asked. The way you helped me sleep, it was like...everything upsetting was replaced with warmth. The way it feels when you do this, only inside my head.
[ Clara's fingers lightly trace the circle of a button on his shirt, fidgeting. ]
[Her fidgeting doesn't go unnoticed but he doesn't stop her. Just continues to hold her there.]
Yes well, that's a little different than reading minds. That was me trying to calm you. You could call it some form of hypnosis or a transference of happier thoughts. [He frowns.] Or maybe a mutual meditation might be a better word for it.
Mutual meditation. [ She hums a little. And then she chickens out, because no. She needs to figure out a way to say the words and if she can't say them yet, she isn't ready. ]
Is there a way you can take away dreams? I can't...I don't think I can sleep again if there's a chance of that nightmare again.
[He can't help but grimace a little bit.] That was a horrible name for it, don't call it that. It sounds new age.
[He glances towards her.] If that's what you want. [He turns towards her properly, putting his hands on either side of her temple, bringing their foreheads back to touch.] Are you sure that's what you want, Clara?
[ There's a thin smile at his decision the name was rubbish. Once their foreheads are touching, she inhales slowly, secretly breathing him in before nodding. She knows once she's asleep and he knows she won't wake up screaming again, he'll have the chance to leave her sleeping. Then she'll wake and dress and they'll go on another adventure like nothing happened. ]
[And with her permission, he slowly begins to sift through her mind. He does his best not to peer too long at things that aren't what he's been told to look at but it's hard not to catch glimpses of himself every now and then. Soon enough though he finds the nightmare and he carefully quietens it, taking it from her and bottling it up.
It's strange seeing it from this perspective. Her perspective. All he can remember from that day is seeing the Dalek but hearing her voice - Oswin's voice - crying out in pain and fear. It stops when he places a stopper on it. When he lets out a breath, a small exhale of vibrant, golden light, exhales from his mouth as he slowly steadies her to lay her back onto the bed. Absentmindedly he strokes her hair as he gazes down at her with concern in his gaze.]
[ Clara's fingers reach up to pass through the light before it fades. She's looking up at him leaning over her and feels her heart give a solid thud. Swallowing she nods, then takes one of his hands, bringing it back to her temple. ]
[He hesitates for a moment, not yet wanting to leave but not wanting to hover. A part of him worries - not dissimilar to her - that if he leaves that she won't be there if he leaves. He knows it's not logical but the very thought helps him make his decision.
He turns on his heel, dragging a chair to the bedside and a book.]
[He gives her a brief, prolonged look before he clears his throat and flips to to where he had last left off. His eyes are trained on the words in front of him although they trail to her every so often to check on whether or not she's asleep.
Regardless he remains there well after she dozes off, falling into a meditative state himself until she wakes the next day]
[ When Clara wakes up and the Doctor is still there, she's shocked. Touched, too, and she just watches him for a few minutes, wondering if he'll open his eyes the minute she tries to get up. He looked relaxed and...soft somehow, like this. ]
Doctor?
[ She speaks his name softly after she has her fill of watching him this way. She's still laying down, curled beneath the blankets. ]
[ Rubbing her forehead she remembers the bandages too late and winces a little, dropping her hand. But she does look at him, still warm and soft with sleep as she stretches out her legs. ]
No nightmares. You stayed the entire time?
[ Her voice is still soft and a little husky from sleeping as she looks at him, holding his gaze. ]
[Something else hangs in the air unsaid; that he was afraid she wouldn't be there if he left or that something else would snatch her away in the night.
He holds her gaze. Seeing her there wonderfully soft and tussled in the moments after waking stirs something in his hearts. It dawns on him that Clara has always been brilliant even in this unmade state. She always would be and he was going to hold onto her as long as he could.
After making sure Clara is fine and her bandages are clean, he all but flies off to the kitchen. Clara is right in reminding him that any moment is never guaranteed but for now he'll hold this one close to his chest.
For now their only immediate concern is breakfast.]
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makemeasong) wrote2022-08-20 11:07 am
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Go on then.
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[ She's genuinely curious after the way he helped her sleep, something she's never experienced before. And she wonders if something can't be explained in words, he could understand directly from the source. ]
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[He pauses.]
I haven't ever done it to you. If you're wondering.
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[ Clara's fingers lightly trace the circle of a button on his shirt, fidgeting. ]
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Yes well, that's a little different than reading minds. That was me trying to calm you. You could call it some form of hypnosis or a transference of happier thoughts. [He frowns.] Or maybe a mutual meditation might be a better word for it.
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Is there a way you can take away dreams? I can't...I don't think I can sleep again if there's a chance of that nightmare again.
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[He glances towards her.] If that's what you want. [He turns towards her properly, putting his hands on either side of her temple, bringing their foreheads back to touch.] Are you sure that's what you want, Clara?
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It's what I want, Doctor. Please.
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[And with her permission, he slowly begins to sift through her mind. He does his best not to peer too long at things that aren't what he's been told to look at but it's hard not to catch glimpses of himself every now and then. Soon enough though he finds the nightmare and he carefully quietens it, taking it from her and bottling it up.
It's strange seeing it from this perspective. Her perspective. All he can remember from that day is seeing the Dalek but hearing her voice - Oswin's voice - crying out in pain and fear. It stops when he places a stopper on it. When he lets out a breath, a small exhale of vibrant, golden light, exhales from his mouth as he slowly steadies her to lay her back onto the bed. Absentmindedly he strokes her hair as he gazes down at her with concern in his gaze.]
Better?
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Are you still here?
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Thank you, Doctor. For taking it away. I'll be alright after some good sleep. Which I'll get because of you.
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He turns on his heel, dragging a chair to the bedside and a book.]
I'll stay here until you fall asleep.
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Too much to ask you to read out loud?
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I might have picked the wrong book to read out to you. Unless you really want to hear me read about quantum time physics.
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[ She smiles at him just a little, watching him with an arm under her head. ] That book'll do fine.
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Regardless he remains there well after she dozes off, falling into a meditative state himself until she wakes the next day]
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Doctor?
[ She speaks his name softly after she has her fill of watching him this way. She's still laying down, curled beneath the blankets. ]
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If he dreams he doesn't remember it and he blinks blearily, seeing her in bed.]
Clara? Did you sleep okay?
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No nightmares. You stayed the entire time?
[ Her voice is still soft and a little husky from sleeping as she looks at him, holding his gaze. ]
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[Something else hangs in the air unsaid; that he was afraid she wouldn't be there if he left or that something else would snatch her away in the night.
He holds her gaze. Seeing her there wonderfully soft and tussled in the moments after waking stirs something in his hearts. It dawns on him that Clara has always been brilliant even in this unmade state. She always would be and he was going to hold onto her as long as he could.
After making sure Clara is fine and her bandages are clean, he all but flies off to the kitchen. Clara is right in reminding him that any moment is never guaranteed but for now he'll hold this one close to his chest.
For now their only immediate concern is breakfast.]