[ He's completely unaware of the inner turmoil she may be feeling, if at all. He hasn't thought much about the actual confession at all. That's not what troubles him. No, it's the fact that she died for his sake that haunts him. He hasn't stopped thinking about it, among so many other things.
His small, perfect impossible girl standing before him now. She's scattered herself across his time stream, every life he's ever lived, and for what? Because she loves him, sure. But why? He's not worth it. It doesn't matter how often she says it, he won't see it that way. Beneath the happy smile, beneath the delight at spending time with her, is a man filled with anguish at the possible future that awaits them both. She'll have no idea the hours upon hours he's spent working out how to stop what's happened, how to prevent it, how to save her. He has time enough here to figure it out and he will and she'll be none the wiser. She's not going to die for his sake, no one will. ]
Not here, though. No, this a chance to catch our breaths. Have you ever been ice skating? Ever, of course. You must have been.
Of course I have. I am not, however, good at it. I can skate really well in a very big circle.
[ Clara laughs, unaware of his thoughts because he's so incredibly good at hiding from her. Not always, but even she misses things and just like he hopes, she's none the wiser. ]
I know you probably have been. On Neptune or something/ Isn't that a cold planet?
[ Keeping her arm tucked against his side, he leads her down the corridor. ]
Oh, think grander, Clara. I've skated on seas of ice on Andalusia, a giant glittering lake frosted and frozen over on Ligeres, and I've even skated vertically up a frozen waterfall on Nandese!
[ Does he ramble on too much sometimes? Possibly. But there's so much to see, so much he has seen, and he loves to share it. It may sound boastful to anyone else, but to him it's just fantastic and he wants everyone to know how brilliant the universe is. ]
You'll be fine, don't worry. I'll be there to catch you.
[ Clara would listen to him ramble on about the places he's been forever. Not just because this is extra time to soak up, but because she's always loved listening to him. She can't remember when she started sitting with him when he was simply tinkering, listening. Has she done that with him yet? She doesn't ask, but she wonders. ]
Up a waterfall? That's something I definitely want to do.
[ But then he says something about catching her and it makes her stomach tighten just a little, breath hitching. She quickly composes herself though, maybe he doesn't know her well enough yet to pick up on it, and Clara squeezes his arm. ]
I don't doubt it. Although in the grand scheme of things, someone falling on their bum and not being hurt can be funny. Or maybe only I would laugh at myself.
Well, we should always seize the opportunity to laugh at ourselves, shouldn't we?
[ His smile is an easy one. Whatever else is going on around them, whatever troubles lay heavy in his hearts, here in this moment, he's going to skate on the ice with a friend and he can't think of anything better in the world right now. ]
[ Clara smiles back up at him, her own troubles tucked away in a box that she's trying to shove to the back of her heart. When they get to the ice, she sits on a bench to tug on her skates, lacing them up. ]
When I was...oh, I dunno, five or six maybe? Whichever Olympics were in the late 80s, I was obsessed with figure skating. I was already playing kiddie football though and had to pick one.
[ Alternatively, the Doctor has decided just to 'skate' using his regular shoes. Why not? But he waits patiently for Clara, amazingly enough. He can actually be patient sometimes, as it turns out. ]
Oh, I've played football a time or two! I was quite good at it, actually. Maybe we get a team going here.
Football must not've been violent enough for me. [ She says it jokingly of course, but she's told him about her rugby days, and it isn't a gentle sport. Clara was a tiny asset, dodging and ducking on the field. ]
A time or two?
[ Only once she's up does she realize he never changed shoes. ]
You're just gonna slide around in your shoes?
[ Some people would be asking with criticism, she's asking with a laugh and already reaching for his hand so he can help her up. Maybe he has it; now she's going to have to walk weirdly to the ice. ]
[ Continuing to help Clara carefully over to the ice, the Doctor keeps an arm around her waist, wanting to make sure there's no chance she can fall over and hurt herself before they even make it there. ]
For a bit, yeah. I'd stayed on Earth before, for much longer, of course, though that was another lifetime and a different face. I was exiled then.
[ Once the skates come into contact with the ice she relaxes a little, able to finally hold her own. She does reach for his hand though, and of course, full of questions. ]
Exiled? What for? Cooked the wrong thing for the wrong person? Told a particularly bad pun?
[ Sometimes it's easier to get things out of him if she's light about it, almost teasing. Well, completely teasing. ]
[ He could tell her easily and in fact, he'd be more likely to tell Clara than he would most people. But something makes him hesitate a moment longer; not because it's Clara, but because he's him, the Doctor, the man of secrets. Though, this particular secret isn't really a secret at all. More of a mystery, perhaps, and nothing that he feels he can't tell.
He'd like to keep her guessing a moment or two longer, though. So, he makes a face like he's pretending to laugh, rolling his eyes a bit, starting to slowly circle around the ice with her. ]
Would you exile me for a bad pun? Bet you would. You're ruthless, Clara Oswald. Besides, I never tell a bad pun!
[ She always thinks it's fifty-fifty with the Doctor, sometimes he'll tell her the truth, and other times she can tell he's putting it off. Sometimes she pries because it feels like she can, but most of the time she doesn't—especially if it has to do with Gallifrey or his family.
For now, she laughs and manages to skate a circle around him. ]
'Course I would. But you're right, your puns are pretty spot on. Let's see...you did steal a TARDIS and I'm not that sure when. Was that why?
[ He makes a blerp-buzz sound under his breath, quite exaggerated just for dramatic effect. Of course, that time of his life when he was exiled was actually quite serious and devastating to him. The memory of it is troubling, to say the least, though it would be hard to discern that from his carefree, even jovial demeanor. ]
Oh, I would have liked to see them try.
Well-I suppose they did.
One more guess, eh, come on? Make it a good one, Clara!
[ As she circles around him, he reaches out to try and grab her wrist lightly, intending to tug her close and spin with her. ]
[ The spin feels shaky but with his hand around her, she doesn't think she'll fall. She doesn't want to guess something awful because they're having a nice, light time and she isn't completely sure he wants her to guess the right answer. ]
Hmm, you ran away with someone important and never looked back. Your M.O., I'm sticking with it.
[ She spins with him again, this time less shakey and more confident. ]
'Course I do. Not better than anyone, but I like to think I'd make it to the final round.
[ She says this with a smile, then moves so that he can twirl her in a circle. He didn't actually say yes or no, but Clara's happy to let it go when he's smiling and happy. How many times will she have this before she leaves this place? She'd rather soak up good moments when they can and not cause sad ones. ]
[ She asks that with a laugh, and then ridiculously tries to twirl him, but she's too short—which is why it's hilarious. ]
Alright then, clever boy, what's my middle name?
[ A trick: she doesn't have one. And maybe she already knows he'll (probably) know this. Maybe. It's a toss-up sometimes on what the man knows and what he doesn't. Although he did stalk track her through her life, who knows what he knows. He's also a snoop. For all she knows, he's seen her long-form birth certificate. ]
[ Ah, but little does she know that even if he doesn't really know the answer, he'll have fun guessing and pretending to know, regardless.
When she calls him clever boy, though, for a moment he feels his hearts ache and flutter. She's only ever said it when she's dying and for a moment, those painful memories flash in his mind and he just holds tighter to her hands. But this is a better memory, a far better one. A remembrance of those words while she's right in front of him, perfectly healthy, happy, whole. ]
[ He wants to just always remember her like this, exactly like this; that bright smile, that joyful laugh, Clara just alive. It pains him again to think that she'd died for him, that she's died over and over again, and he's reminded of his promise to himself once more, to do everything he can to keep her safe, to try and alter the future she's going back to.
But he grins at her nonetheless. ]
Okay, a better one—Beatrice! Clara Beatrice Oswald.
Huh, y'know, that's wrong, but I don't hate it? Does that count?
[ Taking his hand, she begins to skate slowly beside him and with him holding onto her, she feels steady on her feet. ]
Clara Beatrice. Why do I like it! [ She exclaims in the same breath she asks, laughing again. This is what she wants to remember too, always. Not the grumpy man who made it feel like he'd disliked her. ]
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His small, perfect impossible girl standing before him now. She's scattered herself across his time stream, every life he's ever lived, and for what? Because she loves him, sure. But why? He's not worth it. It doesn't matter how often she says it, he won't see it that way. Beneath the happy smile, beneath the delight at spending time with her, is a man filled with anguish at the possible future that awaits them both. She'll have no idea the hours upon hours he's spent working out how to stop what's happened, how to prevent it, how to save her. He has time enough here to figure it out and he will and she'll be none the wiser. She's not going to die for his sake, no one will. ]
Not here, though. No, this a chance to catch our breaths. Have you ever been ice skating? Ever, of course. You must have been.
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[ Clara laughs, unaware of his thoughts because he's so incredibly good at hiding from her. Not always, but even she misses things and just like he hopes, she's none the wiser. ]
I know you probably have been. On Neptune or something/ Isn't that a cold planet?
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Oh, think grander, Clara. I've skated on seas of ice on Andalusia, a giant glittering lake frosted and frozen over on Ligeres, and I've even skated vertically up a frozen waterfall on Nandese!
[ Does he ramble on too much sometimes? Possibly. But there's so much to see, so much he has seen, and he loves to share it. It may sound boastful to anyone else, but to him it's just fantastic and he wants everyone to know how brilliant the universe is. ]
You'll be fine, don't worry. I'll be there to catch you.
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Up a waterfall? That's something I definitely want to do.
[ But then he says something about catching her and it makes her stomach tighten just a little, breath hitching. She quickly composes herself though, maybe he doesn't know her well enough yet to pick up on it, and Clara squeezes his arm. ]
I don't doubt it. Although in the grand scheme of things, someone falling on their bum and not being hurt can be funny. Or maybe only I would laugh at myself.
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[ His smile is an easy one. Whatever else is going on around them, whatever troubles lay heavy in his hearts, here in this moment, he's going to skate on the ice with a friend and he can't think of anything better in the world right now. ]
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[ Clara smiles back up at him, her own troubles tucked away in a box that she's trying to shove to the back of her heart. When they get to the ice, she sits on a bench to tug on her skates, lacing them up. ]
When I was...oh, I dunno, five or six maybe? Whichever Olympics were in the late 80s, I was obsessed with figure skating. I was already playing kiddie football though and had to pick one.
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Oh, I've played football a time or two! I was quite good at it, actually. Maybe we get a team going here.
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A time or two?
[ Only once she's up does she realize he never changed shoes. ]
You're just gonna slide around in your shoes?
[ Some people would be asking with criticism, she's asking with a laugh and already reaching for his hand so he can help her up. Maybe he has it; now she's going to have to walk weirdly to the ice. ]
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A time I was lodging on Earth for a bit with Craig. [ He says Craig's name like Clara should just know him, of course. ] Caught on quickly enough!
And why can't I? Should work just as well as skates, I think.
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Never met him, sounds lovely. You... lodged on Earth? As in you stayed in one spot?
[ She forgets about the shoes versus skates debate. ]
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For a bit, yeah. I'd stayed on Earth before, for much longer, of course, though that was another lifetime and a different face. I was exiled then.
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Exiled? What for? Cooked the wrong thing for the wrong person? Told a particularly bad pun?
[ Sometimes it's easier to get things out of him if she's light about it, almost teasing. Well, completely teasing. ]
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He'd like to keep her guessing a moment or two longer, though. So, he makes a face like he's pretending to laugh, rolling his eyes a bit, starting to slowly circle around the ice with her. ]
Would you exile me for a bad pun? Bet you would. You're ruthless, Clara Oswald. Besides, I never tell a bad pun!
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For now, she laughs and manages to skate a circle around him. ]
'Course I would. But you're right, your puns are pretty spot on. Let's see...you did steal a TARDIS and I'm not that sure when. Was that why?
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Oh, I would have liked to see them try.
Well-I suppose they did.
One more guess, eh, come on? Make it a good one, Clara!
[ As she circles around him, he reaches out to try and grab her wrist lightly, intending to tug her close and spin with her. ]
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Hmm, you ran away with someone important and never looked back. Your M.O., I'm sticking with it.
[ She spins with him again, this time less shakey and more confident. ]
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You do know me, don't you?
[ The second spin feels just as exhilarating and he's laughing with joy and playfulness as they move in a circle together. ]
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[ She says this with a smile, then moves so that he can twirl her in a circle. He didn't actually say yes or no, but Clara's happy to let it go when he's smiling and happy. How many times will she have this before she leaves this place? She'd rather soak up good moments when they can and not cause sad ones. ]
What about me? How well do you know Clara Oswald?
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[ He enjoys the spin with her, feeling exhilarated all over again as they move about in a circle. ]
Oh, I know everything about you.
[ Quite the boast, of course. ]
Where would I start? Ask me anything!
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[ She asks that with a laugh, and then ridiculously tries to twirl him, but she's too short—which is why it's hilarious. ]
Alright then, clever boy, what's my middle name?
[ A trick: she doesn't have one. And maybe she already knows he'll (probably) know this. Maybe. It's a toss-up sometimes on what the man knows and what he doesn't. Although he did
stalktrack her through her life, who knows what he knows. He's also a snoop. For all she knows, he's seen her long-form birth certificate. ]no subject
When she calls him clever boy, though, for a moment he feels his hearts ache and flutter. She's only ever said it when she's dying and for a moment, those painful memories flash in his mind and he just holds tighter to her hands. But this is a better memory, a far better one. A remembrance of those words while she's right in front of him, perfectly healthy, happy, whole. ]
Bedelia, of course! Clara Bedelia Oswald
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[ For some reason, the name gets her, and she laughs loudly, squeezing his hands because she assumes he was only doing so to keep her steady. ]
Guess again, since you were generous enough to give me more than one try.
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But he grins at her nonetheless. ]
Okay, a better one—Beatrice! Clara Beatrice Oswald.
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Huh, y'know, that's wrong, but I don't hate it? Does that count?
[ Taking his hand, she begins to skate slowly beside him and with him holding onto her, she feels steady on her feet. ]
Clara Beatrice. Why do I like it! [ She exclaims in the same breath she asks, laughing again. This is what she wants to remember too, always. Not the grumpy man who made it feel like he'd disliked her. ]
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[ He begins to skate in a broader circle with her now, enfolding her hand protectively in his. ]
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